Tassimo VS Dolce Gusto


I used to absolutely hate coffee; I thought it smelled of cigarettes and looked like dirt and never understood why anyone would want a hot cup of that. Then one day a switch in my brain changed position and I just couldn’t get enough of the beautiful taste of roasted coffee beans.

Christmas 2015 was on the horizon and my lovely parents pestered me daily about what I wanted wrapped under the tree. I still had no idea what I wanted until one day during a trip to Tesco I saw a Dolce Gusto coffee machine on offer. I took a picture and sent it to my parents as a possible Christmas gift from them to me. They bought the coffee machine and I knew about it before Christmas.

Here’s where it started to go wrong: I was looking at coffee machines on the Internet and saw that Tassimo offered many different brands of hot chocolates and coffees including Cadbury and Costa. I thought about the Dolce Gusto under the tree and regretted asking for it. I told my parents that I thought Tassimo was a better choice and asked if they still had the receipt so they could get an exchange. They had the receipt but decided to keep the Dolce Gusto for themselves and get a Tassimo for me. We went to curries and bought the Tassimo for my Christmas.

Here’s where it went wrong a second time: I started looking up the coffee ‘t-disc’ types and I was met with a very large number of terrible reviews. Almost everyone said the new milk pods (the recipe has apparently changed to reduce the packaging size) were disgusting and a lot of people said they were switching to a Nespresso or Dolce Gusto machine instead. The reviews on pods for Dolce Gusto were abundantly positive. I wanted to punch myself in the face for buying the Tassimo. I asked my parents to take back the Tassimo and give me the unopened Dolce Gusto. My parents decided to keep the Tassimo.

Christmas has passed and I have now tried coffee from both machines.

If only somebody had reviewed the machines against each other and saved me this ridiculous tirade. I guess I’ll have to be the one to review it for the coffee lovers who wish to purchase their own machine and face the same decision.

Tassimo: On paper, Tassimo looks like a far stronger machine for one reason. There are a vast range of coffee, hot chocolate and tea brands available as (pods) T discs. Milka, Costa, Kenco and Twinings to name a few. The drinks must taste fantastic why else would all of those brands want to be associated with Tassimo? The machine I tested was a Tassimo Vivy, an adorable little chunky machine with intellibrew technology. It would fit perfectly into any kitchen without taking up masses of space. The intellibrew technology means that when you put your t disc in the machine, the only other thing left to do is push a button; the machine scans the t discs bar code and knows how much to pour. This feature I admit is very cool and to my knowledge is also available on some of the more expensive Dolce Gusto Machines. I tried the Costa Latte, the ‘Morning Cafe’ and the pure Colombian Kenco. The Costa Latte was poor; it was watery, thin and the milk tasted a little too fake. I agreed with the reviews online without having actually tried the old milk t discs. The two other drinks I tried (both black coffee) were actually very nice but I had to add my own milk which in my opinion defeats the purpose of having a machine in the first place. The drink-making process also seemed to drag on for a long time, waiting for water to warm, hearing strange noises, not knowing when or if the water will pour after pressing the button.

Overall, the huge choice of drink brands available does not make up for the disgusting milk and slow drink-making process. I’d give the Tassimo Vivy a 5/10.


Dolce Gusto: With a selection of own brand drinks and not much else, Dolce Gusto doesn’t seem to be as trendy as the Tassimo. The machine I tested was the Dolce Gusto Jovia, a relatively small machine with a strange curved design. This machine is manual so in order to make a drink you have to manually stop-and-start the pouring with a little switch on the top of the machine.  At first I found this very annoying but after I had made a few drinks I found this to be one of my favourite things; it’s hard to overfill a cup or use too much milk when you have total control. The milk pods for the Dolce Gusto are wonderfully frothy and taste fresh. The coffee and hot chocolate pods are also delicious. I tried the Latte Macchiato, Chococino and the Grande. The drinks have a classy feel to them and I cannot stress enough how good they taste. The machine heats up at the beginning before you even make a drink and the button you use to turn the machine on lights up green to let you know it’s ready. This is also a great feature the Tassimo was lacking in. It’s nice to know your machine is ready to use rather than waiting around unsure if your drink is gonna be ready in 10 seconds or 10 minutes.

Overall, the design is of the machine is aesthetically pleasing, the own brand drinks are delicious and it’s an easy system to use. I give the Dolce Gusto Jovia a 9/10.


These are my personal opinions and you may not agree but I hope this helps if you are struggling to decide on a coffee machine. I am now a proud owner of the Dolce Gusto Jovia and I think it’s wonderful.


Apologies to George Clooney and Jack Black for not trying the Nespresso. I’ll probably never try the Nespresso because I’m a -tiny and broke- student and this stylish machine is too expensive for my pot-noodles-and-smart-price-vodka lifestyle.


Burritos on the Train: a Necessary Evil


Have you ever had a burrito? If you have you’ll understand what I’m about to say, If you haven’t GO AND GET ONE and eat it in complete privacy.

Twice this week I have failed the “eat a burrito on a busy train” test so I feel compelled to talk about my ordeal. I don’t know about you but there’s just something so tempting about burritos. It’s like when you’re running out of good ingredients at home and you end up making some kind of cheesy, bean, mayonnaise pizza with a side of packet noodles. It’s a whole bunch of crap thrown together and it doesn’t look like it should taste good but dear god it does.

They’re not the cheapest lunch so really as a tiny and broke human being I shouldn’t really buy these wonderful huge wrapped up pieces of heaven. There is one main problem with this giant fast food; it’s not the price, the size or even the preparation time. It’s the messy act of eating it. Why is it that they put burrito places so near (or even inside) train stations? Don’t be fooled by the neatly packaged cylinder. That foil will not save you. A million napkins may soften the blow but you will end up with the mixture in your hair, eyelashes and encrusted in your clothes. Busy public transport + messy food = the deepest part of hell. There’s something about the act of eating a burrito that screams MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ME. Listen general public, you might be thinking “ugh god how can she eat such a giant wrap” or “what is that disgusting green stuff on her face” but I want you to know I am hungrier than you could imagine and the green stuff is guacamole you ignorant toad.

So I, being the helpful human that I am have decided to create a step by step guide on how to eat a burrito in public:

1. Buy a burrito: You might think going for the least sloppy option will help but you’re wrong, your burrito will find a way to ooze it’s evil all over you anyway. Get whatever you want inside. Always get guacamole. Don’t ask why, just do it, it’s delicious.

2. Ask the kind burrito assembler if they have any napkins. These will help you later.

3. When you have been shown the location of the napkins, take 400. Save the trees? If the trees had ever eaten a burrito they would understand why they have to die.

4. Avoid busy trains. If you can’t avoid busy trains, avoid eye contact. Things are going to get unpleasantly intimate with whoever has the misfortune to be sat across from you. This person does not want to see you ingest 4 pounds of Mexican heaven and trust me, you don’t want to see them seeing this either. Just don’t look at them, look at the burrito and only the burrito.

5. Take little tiny bites. Lots and lots of little tiny bites followed by dabs and wipes using your many napkins.

6. Burrito anatomy in my case always seems to be the same. There is always one side of the burrito that is sloppier. The side that has absorbed the guacamole, the salsa and the sour cream will be far sloppier than the side containing rice. Eat a bite of the sloppy side then a bite of the ricey side and repeat until finished.

7. Roll up the foil and hide the evidence of the whole burrito experience.

There is one other first step you can take to prevent a messy face in a train full of strangers. If you’re thinking of buying a burrito to eat in public: don’t.


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